oh wow. it's been a very long time. alot has happened.
i met new people, lost some people, had a lot of trouble, made a lot of memories.
no matter how bad some of the times were, one day made up for all of it.
The 15th of May.
my wish happened. all those nights, sitting on my roof wishing on stars.
it finally happened. i'm so happy.
i just wish it could happen again and again.

JEE WILIKERS?

oh my god, it has been a long time, hasn't it? life is epic, i'm really enjoying it. the only thing bothering me is i really miss someone. i need him but he's gone for ever, and we'll never be friends again. but, never mind :/ uhm, i've made alot of new friends, and i've started going to city hall every saturday and venue every friday. This friday, 19-2-10, i'll be meeting Jonny for the first time! :D and i cant wait. and on saturday, i'm only staying in town untill 5.30, because i'm going to gary's house to see gary and joanna and christina and natalia ^-^ -jumps with excitement. i'm really loving cristofer drew atm ;D and i'm back into being obsessed with drawing and the thought of magic. the thought of magic and that it's real makes me feel that i'm not really as vulnerable as i thought, it's as if i'm not alone. magic seems to make it better. the magic of love.

YAY! im excited (: going to town with ally + michael + sam + charlie :3 so ja. and i'm off for christmas, over the weekend, on friday, i went to the venue with ally, jb, niamh, george, jamie, conor, and matt ^__^ good times. Saturday, i went to cityhall again, with EVERYONE <3>

wow. am i glad to have my friends? yes. do i need them? yes. could i survive without them? no.
but most of all, i need ally. i need her more than oxygen. i need her more than water. i'd rather give up those things and live my last few seconds with her. i hope, and know, we'll always be best friends, no matter how often we drift apart.. i love Ally Gilfillan ^__^ <3

Going Down Hill Again

Well, im in that mood again. where i just feel like "Jesus hates me." and i want it to go away. sam broke up with me. it's only teenage dating, but i loved sam. and it may seem silly, but it feels like he punched a huge hole in my heart with some scissors. i know he never ever meant to hurt me, i dunno if he did really, but i hurt so much, i'm dizzy. nobody really gets it :/ saying it's "not meant to hurt you" and "atleast you still have him in your life" etc. but i dunno whether to be happy that you're here, or cry because we'll never be what we were again. i was happy when we were friends, happier when we were together, but it was basically the same in how we acted being friends and being together. but now that we went out, we'll never act the same we did. i wouldnt find it awkward, but you might. and you wont act the same as you did, or hug me like you did. gosh. you mightnt even hug me again. i know it's nobody else's fault, but i really wanna hurt someone. and i know thats terrible. i literally want to hit someone so hard, they understand the pain i feel. it's unreal. does anyone actually get it? and if you dont, i'd appreciate it if you fucking stopped saying "its for the best" and "i understand" when you dont because you went out with someone, he broke up with you, but you never really loved them.

♥

wowie, it's been another.. while? since i've taken note on this thing. i've just finished my november exams. YAY -danceeeee. and, sam bez mine now. i'm getting my hair dyed on friday night. YAYYYYYYYY again ;D gonna go :3 laytur <3